Memories
by BookAddiction24
Summary: Peeta is dead. The revolution is over. Katniss and Gale are together. Katniss is pregnant. Katniss is weaker than ever.
1. I Miss You

_I miss you, miss you so bad._

_I don't forget you. Oh, it's so sad._

_And I hope you can hear me._

_I remember it clearly._

_The day, you, slipped away,_

_was the day, I found it won't be the same. Oh._

-Avril Lavigne (I Miss You)

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><p>Katniss.<p>

I wrap my arms around him and he does the same. I love him.

It feels wrong, but I had to follow my heart. He didn't even design the bombs! It wasn't his fault!

That's right, you heard me. I'm here with Gale. He never designed the bombs in the first place. Someone else came up with the idea. They asked Gale to make a visual for them. Gale, of course, helped him. When he said that he designed it, he meant that he had designed the visual, not the actual device.

That's my Gale, always trying to help people without thinking about what horrible consequences it might bring.

"You're doing that thing again," he whispers in my ear. Apparently, whenever I think about what happened, I'm in my own little world. I space out and have a blank look on my face.

"Sorry," I say. "It's just, I feel bad."

"I know, but he would have wanted it like this," Gale replies. Now, I know what you must be thinking: wow, funeral talk. If you're thinking that, then you are exactly right.

"_Katniss, you actually killed Coin?" Peeta asked me._

"_Yeah, she was an evil person, just like Snow was. People just didn't see it because she was the leader, so we ignored how bad she was. If I had to kill him, I would kill her too," I told him._

"_Wow, you've got more guts than I th-" he stopped and looked confused. He looked up at me and our eyes locked. I could see the tension in his muscles._

"_Peeta, it's just the tracker jacker venom talking. Don't listen. It's lying to you," I said. He was having one of his shiny moments. The moments where he thinks I'm an evil, horrible mutt that deserves to die._

"_You tried to kill me," he said. _

"_No, I didn't. You're having a false memory." I stepped forward, my hands up, showing that I don't have a weapon. "I wouldn't do that."_

"_But, you did," he said. He slapped me in the face balled up his hands in fists. I held my hand up to my cheek. "You tried to kill me, a lot."_

_I reached forward and touched his cheek, as I still touched mine. He came out of the hallucination, and realized what he'd done._

"_Katniss," he said. "I'm so sorry."_

"_It's nothing, Peeta," I assured him._

"_I hit you," he said, eyes as wide as manholes. "I hit you." He started to slowly back away. I tried to warn him, but he just kept muttering the same words, "I hit her. I hit her." _

_He backed up into an unsteady shelf. It fell over and crushed him. Many of his ribs broke and he could barely breathe. Eventually, he left the pain that we call life._

"Katniss," Gale says, bringing me back to the present.

"Sorry, again," I say. He nods.

"It's okay," he says. We decided to come back to District 12. So here we are, in the Victors Village house, where Peeta came and checked on me every night. "He's in a better place now."

"I miss him," I say. He nods and kisses my forehead.

"I know. I would too." I almost let myself cry, but I hold it inside. I'm the reason that Peeta is dead.

It's been four years since the rebellion won. I'm 22 and Gale is 24. We got married a year ago, when I was 21. I still haven't let go of Peeta. I still haven't got over his death.

He lies down on a couch and I lie down next to him.

"It's my fault," I say.

"No, it's not. It's no one's fault. It was good that he got to leave the incredible pain he was in."

"But if I had stopped him, he wouldn't be dead," I argued. Gale didn't talk again. We just sat there, thinking.

Gale doesn't mind when I talk about Peeta. I still love him, and Gale knows it, but I can love Gale and Peeta at the same time.

Gale turns his head and kisses me.

"I love you," he whispers.

"I love you too," I reply. I close my eyes and imagine a world where we were together because we met at school and really liked each other, not because we met while hunting illegally and the guy that I loved died.

"Katniss are you okay?" he asks me.

I nod. "Mhm. Why?"

"You keep spacing out," he says.

"Sorry," I say. "I'm just a little frustrated." I turn my head so that he won't see, as I wipe away the forming tears.

I rub my stomach, the stomach that has my baby in it. Yes, Gale and I are having a baby. I couldn't believe it at first either, but I got used to it. I let go of my fear from the past. The Hunger Games are over. The revolution won. My child won't have to fear being reaped. We're all free. It's too bad that Peeta had to die right as we got our freedom.

I wonder what our baby will look like. It will probably have black hair and gray eyes, because that's what both of us have. I wonder what mine and Peeta's baby would look like.

_I will not cry_._ I will not cry_.

I imagine Peeta lying next to me, hushing me, telling me it will be alright, letting me cry, and wiping away the tears.

_I will cry_.A single warm tear runs down my cheek. _Yes, I will cry_.

Gale wipes away the tear, eyes full of concern. It doesn't help much. It just brings back the memories. The memories of Peeta. The memories that bring pain. The memories that bring more tears. The tears that remind me of Peeta, by blurring my vision, and making everything look shiny. Just like the cause of Peeta's death.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading. Please review! <strong>

**I know that the song isn't about death, but all of the words go with it. ALL OF THEM! Check out the song. It's really good and it COMPLETELY (100%) goes with this story.**


	2. Special Box

Gale.

Katniss is starting to worry me. She cries at least once a day, and that's something I'm not very used to. Katniss crying just throws me off balance, but I have to stay strong for her. My Katniss needs to know that it's all okay. She needs a strong wall to lean on. I have to be that strong wall if I don't want her to end up like Annie.

I notice the tears running down her cheeks. I wipe them away and she bites her lip.

"Katniss?" I ask. "Do you need something?"

"Why would I?"

"I don't know. Maybe there's something that would make you feel better."

"Like what?" she asks.

"Do you want to visit someone?" I hope she says yes.

She hesitates, but easily gives in. "Sure. Like who?"

"Well, we see Haymitch all the time, so someone else. How about one of the victors?" I suggest. She closes her eyes and tenses her jaw as I say the word. I know the one victor that she would love to visit, but she can't. He's gone now.

"Okay."

"Who?" I ask.

"Johanna, Annie, someone. You can pick," she says. I nod and move a little bit. She sits up to let me stand up. I kiss her and go to the kitchen.

Who would be best for her? Annie would show her what she can't become, but Johanna would whip her into shape.

"Would you want to visit both?" I call to her.

"Sure," she says.

I call Johanna and she agrees to go to District 5. I don't want Annie to have to travel and I would like if they were both there. She says that she can go tomorrow and I thank her.

I walk to the living room. "Catnip?"

"Yeah?"

"How would you like to go to District 4 tomorrow?" I ask her.

"To visit Annie?" She asks.

"We'll visit Annie and Johanna," I explain. I see that beautiful smile that I love spread across her face.

"That would be great," she whispers, as she gets off the couch. "I can't wait."

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><p>Katniss.<p>

"That would be great," I whisper. "I can't wait." He reaches out and hugs me. I hug him back.

"Katniss-" he begins. "What about the name?"

"What name?" I ask.

"The name for our baby," he says, slowly, as if he doesn't want to make me feel stupid or scare me because I'm going to have a baby.

"What about it?"

"What do you want to name it?" he asks. I didn't want to even think about this. I'm not even showing yet. I found out and the doctor confirmed it. We don't know if it's a boy or a girl.

"How would we decide if we don't know its gender?" I ask.

He shrugs. "What do you want it to be?" he asks. "A boy or a girl?"

I honestly have no idea. If it's a girl, I'll always think of Prim. If it's a boy, I'll always think of Peeta. But, then again, it would look like Gale.

"Boy. What would you want?"

"A girl. It would look like you," he says, looking deeply into my eyes.

One of us is going to be disappointed, I know that for sure. I just don't know if having a girl would depress me. It wouldn't look anything like her, but after so many years of looking after, Prim, a little girl who I loved, it would be so hard to think of anyone else.

He leans forward and kisses me on the cheek. Sure, I would rather have Peeta, but Gale is so helpful. If I didn't have Gale, I would be all alone with no one to help me. Without Gale I would be depressed for sure. Yes, I am depressed in the sense that I'm very VERY upset, but not technically. Something has to happen in your brain for that to happen.

I smile weakly and walk back to our room. I close the door quietly and get the box from under our bed. The box has pictures of Peeta, Prim, my father, Finnick, and one of my mother. It also has the thing that tortures me, inspires me, breaks me, and holds me together at the same time; the mockingjay pin.

Gale knows that I have this box. He's fine with it. He just wants me to stay strong and keep going.

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><p>Gale.<p>

I'm so glad that we'll be able to visit them. This could really help Katniss. Not only will it hopefully inspire her, but it might help just to see some friends.

I sit back down and relax for a while. After about a minute, I walk back to our room.

I'm about to open the door, when I hear her talking to herself. Yes, this worries me, but I want to hear what she's saying, so I put my ear to the door and listen.

"Not Peeta. Not Gale," I hear. _What is she talking about?_ "Katniss, you can do better." _What?_ "Something… better." _I don't understand her at all._ "Saldo, that's it."

I decide to walk in then and I see Katniss sitting on our bed holding her special box. Her face lights up when she sees me.

"Gale, I've been thinking about baby-names!" she exclaims. "I only have an idea for a boy, though."

"Perfect," I say, grinning from ear to ear. The way she smiled when she saw me way so beautiful. I haven't seen her smile like that since Peeta died. "Let's hear it."

"Okay, don't laugh," she says sheepishly. I nod and she continues, "Saldo." _Now I know what she was talking about. _"You know, like my father."

I nod with a big smile on my face. "I love it." She smiles too and runs over to hug me.

"I love you Gale," she whispers into my chest.

"I love you too," I whisper into her hair, "Catnip."

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><p>-Thanks for coming back to read this chapter! If you replied (nicely) than I love you!<p>

-some notes to my haters:

1. if Katniss didn't have Peeta, do you honestly think she wouldn't go back to Gale? I didn't think so

2. if you don't like it, don't read it

3. flames only make me more happy because I realize how amazing my actual fans are. Thanks for the happiness :)

4. thanks for commently anonymously :) *cough* cowards *cough*

-Now for my actual fans:

If you want to know how to pronounce the name, go to google translate. Make the starting language latin and type in the name. Click the button under that that says _Listen_

-Ally


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